What Being “True to Yourself” Really Means
~ by Tera Warner
There will be times in life when you’re faced with a tough choice.
Like the choice of whether or not to stay in a relationship, keep your friends, a job you don’t love, an apartment or living condition that just doesn’t make you feel good. Maybe it’s even an attitude of self-doubt, resentment or worry.
There will be times in life when you come to a fork in the road and it’s clear that moving forward from this place means something is going to have to go.
No second guessing.
No turning back.
No more doubts or “maybes.”
You’re going to have to make a decision, stick with it, then move on.
Learning To Let Go
It’s tough when you get your heart and feelings invested in people and situations to just “let go” of things when they’re not going right. It’s sometimes easy to stick with the feelings and situations that are “familiar” (even if uncomfortable) rather than avail yourself to the great unknown.
But one of the most liberating things you will ever do is to come to realize what things are NOT working for you and decide to get them off your path. That’s a tough lesson, but it’s a lesson that could mean the difference between feeling alive and feeling sick, stifled, and stressed out!
If It Doesn’t Raise You Up, It’s Gonna Drag You Down
In order to decide about something in which you’ve had a lot of emotion invested, it’s important to be able to look at the facts, the stats, the real-to-the-feel details of what’s happening and what has happened over time.
Measure things like time, energy, attention.
Measure things like good moments and stressful moments.
Measure things like production and what is actually accomplished, not just what is said.
Quantify experiences and observations so you can see the track record and get rational about the situation. You need to be able to LOOK at a situation for what it is, not just what it SAYS it is.
Blame won’t help. Victimizing is even worse.
Ask yourself these questions:
Are you communicating your needs, wants and expectations clearly?
If not, get straight and honest and courageous and communicate them as kindly and clearly as you can. People can’t fix a situation if they don’t know or understand what is wrong and how you really feel.
What about this can you take responsibility for?
At the end of the day it won’t matter what other people did to you, the stories that will sear a hot streak of regret through your spirit will be the things you did or failed to do that caused problems for other people.
Get clean and honest with yourself and ensure that you are acting in the interests of the greatest good for the greatest sphere of influence. Not out of vengeance, frustration, impatience or antagonism.
Letting go is never easy. We cling to what we know, and the safety of what we already have keeps us from venturing into that big empty space void of “what is yet to be.” But sometimes, it is the right choice and knowing when that time has come is a pretty potent, intimidating, but life-giving realization to arrive at.
Pleasure and Peace are Luxuries You Can Afford
If you’re not invested in the people, opportunities, relationships and experiences that lift you up, then you’re slipping down and you’re going to feel it.
You’ll feel it in your health, your productivity, and your hopeful, joyful spirit will start to flounder and feel insecure.
You are entitled to allow yourself the luxury of choosing your friends, your business associates, your food, your extracurricular activities. You can allow yourself the luxury of investing in those people, experiences and opportunities that lift you, and the world around you, higher.
Imagine what your life would look like if you had it all!
Now, is that really too much to ask for?
I think not.
Take a good look at your life. At your friends. At your work. At your activities and interests. Being true to “yourself” means being true to your goals and objectives in life. Maybe it’s to dance! Maybe it’s to teach people! Maybe it’s to put your feet up on a sandy beach in Tahiti.
Whatever you have established as your goals, take a good look at the friends, activities and choices you’ve been making. Do these choices bring you closer to that goal, or are they keeping you from it?
While living to please others and be a socially acceptable citizen on planet Earth may cut the mustard for some, I doubt you’re the type who wants to live your life half-expressed.
C’mon! Go out on a limb!
Set your compass, but throw away the map. If you know where you wanna go, then who cares how you get there? If the waves crash, just keep your eye on the destination. If you lose a sail, pull out the oars. If a pirate jumps aboard, pass him a mop and make him work for his green smoothies! Life is a bold and daring adventure and you will enjoy it to the degree that you keep your goals and destinations in sight and that you move in the direction of achieving them.
[tweet_dis]Live the life YOU want to live and live it aligned with the purposes, goals and objectives that light you ablaze.[/tweet_dis] Then expect and insist upon surrounding yourself with the people, conditions and situations that will help make it all go right.
You’re worth that much.
Most of us around you already know it. As soon as you become convinced of it, the winds of confidence, courage and authenticity will fill your sails and you’ll be off to another great adventure in the magical, marvellous life of YOU!
Love and happily ever afters,
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If you’re ready to live your best life, starting September 13th, we’ll be taking a small group of only 20 women on board our next Virtual Retreat. Places are already filling up fast, so fill out the application to join us. This high-support program has been the launch pad for many women to radically improve their relationships, self-confidence and all aspects of their lives.