3 Ways to Unstick Yourself (Therapy Not Required!)
by Tera Warner
Hey there!
Recently I shared the story of Sarah–a woman who came on board our Virtual Lifestyle Design Retreat. Her 30-year history of doctors, nurses, mental health “specialists,” invasive physical treatments and a chemical cocktail at maximum doses prescribed for a long list of convincing labels still did NOT solve Sarah’s problems. (If you missed this story, you can read it here.)
By about Week 4 of our Virtual Retreat we had turned things around significantly. By Week 8, we were strong, stable and on a whole, new path for life. Sarah’s doctors and nurses agree that this has been a COMPLETE turn around!
How did we do it?
Here are three of the biggest factors we applied to help bring about Sarah’s success:
Wrong Problem, Wrong Solution.
Right Problem, Right Solution.
Sarah had been given every label in the book. She was treated for PTSD, anxiety, psychosis, depression, etc. etc. etc. She’d been told by a dozen different well-ironed white coats what her “problems” were, but none of their “solutions” honestly made things better. Often, it made things worse.
BEFORE YOU BLAME YOURSELF OR DECIDE THERE IS SOMETHING “WRONG” WITH YOU, consider the possibility that the solutions you’re trying don’t work because you have not identified the right problem.
Wrong problem, wrong solution.
Right problem, right solution. 🙂
What you think is your problem, may not be the problem at all.
For Sarah, so many people had been trying to treat the PTSD from having lost her home in a bushfire at 10 years old, then “depression” after the death of her father.
When Sarah and I sat down to look at her life and what had actually happened, we spotted something in Grade 2 (three years before the fire) that marked a turning point in her confidence and sense of security in life.
Once we found that the whole thing unravelled and started to make sense!!
Look, Don’t Think!
- Do you go “into your own head” trying to “figure out” what’s wrong with you, or worry why you can’t seem to make things go right?
- Do you spend a significant amount of time “thinking” about your problems and wondering why they happen?
- Have you ever been offered theories or “explanations” from family members, therapists, friends, neighbours and other well-meaning people who told you “what your problem is”?
- Do you struggle to make up your mind about what’s really important and sometimes feel you aren’t sure if you really know who you are anymore?
If so, chances are good you’ve been given a whole lot of information that may not be true, and YOU BELIEVED IT!
One of the very best ways to get thoroughly stuck in your head, lost as a person and overwhelmed with uncertainty is to listen to what everyone else says is true, and believe them.
The only way you’re really going to SEE your problems and understand what’s been happening and how you got into this situation, is to take a good, long LOOK yourself. Sometimes that can be done with a timeline, sometimes we use other tools to help peel away the emotion from the past and help you look at the facts.
The more you remove the emotion and see things as they really are, the easier they become to understand and handle. Admitedly, it’s not easy to look at your own life, especially when there are so many things you don’t want to see! That’s when having someone else guide you and take an outside viewpoint (like we do in the Virtual Retreat) can be important to helping you see the bigger picture.
Trust Yourself. Trust Yourself. Trust YOURSELF!
When you stop and take a look at your life and how you’ve lived it, it’s not always comfortable to see what’s gone on. Chances are good you made a few stupid choices, broke hearts, stole candy from the convenience store, stepped on a few toes and rubbed some people the wrong way.
Don’t avoid looking at the truth.
Don’t ignore it, deny it, evade it, explain it, blame it on someone else or decorate it in a whole bunch of justifications about why it was ok. It was not ok. You made some stupid mistakes. Own them. Own them completely.
Then look a little earlier…
Before things started to go off the rails, behind all that mess, some little thing happened and you got a bit confused by it.
Maybe someone told you you were no good and wouldn’t amount to anything.
Maybe some situation was pushing down on you, and instead of standing up, you backed down.
Maybe you told a little white lie and never came clean about it.
Before your life’s soap opera started, there was some early moment of truth, some minor act of courage that was demanded of you, a chance to stand strong and hold your ground, and you backed down.
From there on out, things got kinda messy.
Truth is Beautiful.
When you find that minor slip, your first fall from grace, the little moment of backing down instead of standing up, of bending under pressure instead of staying strong, you’ll realize that all this mess you’ve been making since then has really been your way of making sure you didn’t get away with it.
Under even the stinkiest pile of dirty laundry, is a clean t-shirt–one with TRUTH and TRUST and COURAGE and “I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!” written all over it.
A lot of thick books, white coats and constipated people out there might try to point out what’s “wrong” with you, but don’t believe ’em! The only thing “wrong” with you started to day you stopped trusting yourself. The sooner you realize it, the faster life starts to go in the right direction again.
No pills or prescriptions required. Wear the t-shirt of who you really want to be, then be it!
Love and as much detergent as you need to get through that stinkin’ pile of laundry,
😉
Tera
Don’t Let the Small Stuff Hold You Back Any Longer
