Tera Warner

How To Speak Your Mind Without Upsetting Other People

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How To Share Burden With People

By Tera Warner

We’ve been talking a lot about authenticity, about allowing others the space to be themselves and finding the courage to be our uninhibited selves in the world. There have been some amazing questions coming in and I thought I would take the time to answer one.

“How do I share what I’m feeling without burdening the other person?”

1. You start with the assumption that what you have to say is meaningful and that your time is worthy of someone else’s full attention.

That you are important and worthy of attention. If you feel like you’re a burden, the emotional weight ALONE of that idea will be easily felt and experienced by the other person.

Be worthy of attentive communication by deciding you’re worthy and by giving it to others.

2. Observe cues.

People are actually very predictable once you get to know a few things about them. As you practice being fully present in communication, you will know what a great communication feels like and you’ll start insisting upon it.

If I get the impression that someone I’m speaking with isn’t listening or isn’t interested, I’ll stop communicating.That usually gets their attention. I might indicate that I felt their attention was elsewhere, or that I would rather wait to communicate until they were fully present.

I’m a communication ninja, so I take quality of communication pretty seriously and insist upon it. I don’t always get it right, but I certainly do my best.

3. Spend time with people who are interested in you and value your thoughts and ideas.

 

There are some pretty quality human beings out there. As you start to step up the quality of experiences you create for other people, you’ll start to step up the quality of experiences you’re willing to receive.

4. Remember always that you ARE a MOVIESTAR.

My dear friend SARK picked up the phone when I called her and the first thing she exclaimed with all the giggle-power she could muster was,

“YOU’RE SUCH A MOVIESTAR!!”

I couldn’t stop laughing! I immediately burst into giggle and gladness and it stayed with me for days.

You ARE a Moviestar.  If you need a reminder of that, just listen to this interview I did with SARK. I really don’t think I can listen to this call too many times. It gives me such an extraordinary boost!!

You have something to say! Say it! Not only for yourself, but for the fact that someone else out there might need to hear it, too! You’ll never err on the side of over-communicating. You can always fix what you’ve expressed and put out there, even if in our awkwardness we create problems.

But keep it locked up and it will turn your stomach to knots and slowly chew at your livingness.

May you feel free to express what sits on the edge of your tongue and in the seat of your soul and know that what you have to say IS wanted and needed in the world!

Lights, camera, ACTION!!

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