Tera Warner

How to Bite Their Heads Off (If You’re Not Careful)

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How to Bite Their Heads Off (If You’re Not Careful)

by Tera Warner

Now, I know you don’t want to chop anyone’s head off,  but it can happen when you’re not careful! What I’m about to say is really important.

When acknowledging other people in your conversations, you’ve GOT to make sure your acknowledgements are APPROPRIATE – not too strong, not too soft, and watch that emotional tone!

As a homeschooling mother of two, I spend a lot of time tuning into the subtle tone levels of communication between my kids. Sometimes, little things make a BIG difference. If I let one of them get away with a sassy, snotty reply, war can break out!

We can make a person feel understood, respected and heard, or we can make them feel small, insignificant and invalidated with NOTHING MORE THAN A FEW EXPRESSED SYLLABLES!

Keeping your cool in a conversation and ending it with grace can be pretty tough to do when you’re in a conversation that:

a) is making you very uncomfortable.

b) contains a lot of negative emotion or hostility.

c) is boring you into a slobbery state of drool.

d) you do not wish to be having.

You can prevent a lot of damage to the fragile human spirit simply by mastering the art of a nice, clean, clear, attentive and appropriate acknowledgement to what has been communicated (regardless of what you think or feel about what is being said!).

THIS IS IMPORTANT: You don’t have to agree with people to tell them you’ve heard and understood what they have to say.

Just think what would happen if we all mastered the ability to politely, calmly reply to communication in a way that doesn’t create more problems. Even when we don’t agree. Even when we don’t like what is being communicated!

Here are a couple of key phrases that will help you next time you’re in a communication conundrum and not sure how to reply:

Try any of the following, making ABSOLUTE sure that you keep your cool when using them. Any snotty undertones, abruptness or unexpressed resentment WILL be felt, so keep you cool, Kitty Cat.

But don’t say it like a pansy either. Be clear. Hold your space with a nice, clear, respectful communication:

“Okay. I hear you. I understand what you’re saying.”

“Thank you for telling me that.”

“I got that. Thank you for telling me.”

“I understand how you feel. Thanks for letting me know.”

Assuring the person you’re speaking with has received and understood your message, does not have to mean you agree with them! Try a few of these out next time you’re in a sticky conversation.

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