By Gina Ingram
Back to school. Oh my goodness, it is that time already – is summer really over?
I have always felt sad to see it go and realize I sometimes still feel a heaviness in my heart when the days start to shorten and those first back to school ads appear. That feeling sometimes lingers on and I wondered about that today – why was that feeling still here?
As a kid knowing it was time to go back to school I realized that, at first, all I could see, or feel, was the end of my freedom.
The freedom to just BE, to read a book – just because – to play and be outside in nature, moving and feeling the warmth of the sun. Ditching the routine, the schedule, staying up late – sleeping in. The spontaneous wonderful get togethers with family and friends – barbecues, sun, sand and surf.
Watermelon, corn on the cob, charcoals on the grill – the smells, the tastes of summer. No wonder I didn’t want it to end.
Remember that? Did you do that too?
BUT then I remember, for some reason, as a kid, it seemed easier to let summer go. The sadness always disappeared and the excitement, the anticipation would build. Suddenly it seemed, a switch was made – I couldn’t wait for that first day, how could that be? All of a sudden going back to school meant some good things too – new clothes, new books and getting to see my friends, catching up – all the possibilities. My sadness disappeared.
Maybe that is what I am missing now, that was the heaviness in my heart. What am I looking forward to this Fall – what am I going to do? Will I wear the same clothes, the same comfortable routine – the same old, same old or will I stretch and grow, get some new clothes (NOT) , check out and explore all the endless possibilities of ??
I am not a kid anymore – I can choose. What do I WANT to do?? Who do I want to BE?
Wow – I feel so much better already. I am off to clean out my closets (make room for those new clothes), call up some old friends and maybe go off and make some new. Make plans to go on that retreat I wanted, take that course, snuggle up by the fire and read that book — oh my now – as I bid summer farewell the sadness is gone and with a smile and look forward to fall.
Seeing summer as not the end of something but the beginning of something new? The end of summer, going back to work, going into fall – same old, same old – did I need some new clothes (NOT) I was just fitting into the old routine and nothing new? Is that what I was yearning for?
So summers end brought that to an end but, then, somehow, someway then the excitement started to build, seeing my friends, catching up, all the new possibilities and everything was okay.
As an adult – well I don’t have to go back to school but it always makes me ponder where I am, where I want to go and what is coming.