(90-Day Detox) Day 13: Coming Out of the Cooked Food Closet
Written by Tera on February 28, 2009 – -
Usually we finish with a success story, but today is different. Today it’s confessional time. First of all, it’s fine and dandy to have things all upbeat and bubbly, because sometimes that’s how life is. Sometimes things really do just work out perfectly and life is good. But other times, things seem to fall apart. We lose hope, get discouraged, frustrated or just lost. I think it’s important we address some of the tools that can help us get through these things, too, in honor of the fact that maybe not everyone is feeling like a Sparkle Puff this week.
Today I thought I’d kick off the blog post with a plea for help that is not at all unusual in terms of the kinds of messages that I receive in a week. It’s completely unedited. Why don’t you read this and see if you can relate:
Hi, Tera.
I know your time is probably very limited to reading and responding to emails from people you don’t know. From reading your blog, you are super busy. So I am very grateful to you for reading this email and I hope you can help me. I have been reading your blog and I just signed up to be a part of the 90 day detox. Let me start off by telling you that I have read and researched TONS of info on eating healthy and I know the importance of a raw food diet. I was eating at least 50% raw food last summer and I felt and looked amazing. As of today, it’s a whole different story. I can’t seem to get back on track with the healthy eating and I am continually gaining weight. I’m only 5 ft. tall and I weight 134. That’s just too darn much. I am extremely disappointed with myself, burnt out and discouraged. I even took up running 3 weeks and have been doing awesome with that. But I’m not losing weight because I can’t stop eating. On my first day of doing your detox, I felt lost and unprepared. I knew I couldn’t have dairy or gluten, but I wasn’t ready to do just fruits, veggies, beans and rice. I had my green smoothie, which I do at least 3 times a week, but then around lunch time I got hungry. I looked in my cupboards and could not find anything that sounded good.
I didn’t want a piece of fruit or a carrot. Here is my problem. It’s my thinking, which I am having a hard time changing. I have to be FULLY prepared and everything perfect and in order before starting something. I am really struggling coming aboard the 90 day detox program because I started late. It just feels wrong…or like I won’t succeed because I didn’t start from day one.
I considered going to my local Whole Foods (which I do a couple of times a week already)
and buying a bunch of things that are gluten free and sitting down and writing out meal plans and getting myself prepared. But, you know what, I’m too tired and too broke. I have already spent over budget this month on my groceries, and physically I feel horrible. I just want to sleep; not take on a huge project like preparing my mind, body and home to not eat gluten or dairy anymore. To give you an example of how out of control my diet is, yesterday I ate nothing but carbs. I was trying eat healthy. I even passed up my husband’s Papa John’s pizza. I didn’t even eat dinner and I gave my 4 year old daughter some lentil soup instead of nasty pizza. But, for breakfast I had a half of a blueberry muffin from Whole Foods. For lunch, whole wheat pasta with homemade tomato sauce. For late night snack with the movie, popcorn (no butter) with peanut M&M’s. Ughhh! I feel fat, tired and horrible today. It just feels hopeless. For every accomplishment or victory I have, it seems like I have to do something to sabotage it. Yesterday I ran longer than I have ever run, but then look how I ate. I thought about buying your detox program that would give me more support and tell me what to eat, but I just can’t afford it! (sigh!)
I am so sorry to be rambling on. I’m just so down. I came to your blog today to try and pick myself up by reading the different entries and some of the testimonies. I don’t feel better. I feel worse. I’m reminded of how much I have been messing up and that I’m too far out from the time everybody else has started this detox. It’s also discouraging to see how so many people are doing so well and I’m not.
The reason why I am writing to you and asking you for help is because I believe so strongly in what you are doing. Again, I have read TONS of books and blogs on raw eating, healthy eating, green living, etc. Probably the same ones you have read. The tone of your blog is different. It’s very catchy and uplifting. Not preachy or wordy. Your personality shines through your writing and it’s very invigorating. I want so badly to be a success story on your blog and even help others along the way. It’s funny, so many of my friends come to me for advice on what they should eat or what they should give their kids to eat. It’s a whole lot easier to tell someone how to live their life than to tell yourself. I am hoping and praying you can give me the advice or direction I am needing.
Again, thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read this email. Bless you!
M/G
First of all, I REALLY appreciate letters like this. Testimonials and glowing reports are great to boost my confidence, but letters like these where someone has the courage to come out of their cooked food closet and ASK FOR HELP are even more valuable to me. They remind me why I’m doing this in the first place and what we’ve done to try and set ourselves apart a bit.
Most people put up a customer service wall of fire to prevent intimacy and involvement. Profit is the priority at the expense of any emotional connection with the clients. Obviously, we can’t build a business here where one person takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the community, but we can build a community where the INDIVIDUALS within the community are inspired to take responsibility for each other.
That’s what we’re trying to do here. Another e-book is NOT the answer to your prayers, but having someone else who believes in you and supports you may very well be the solution we’re looking for.
Life deals a hard blow and some of us struggle more than others to get our ducks in a row. But, but, but, but, buuuuuuuuut… (and you can quote me on this one!)
More than another ebook, more than another miracle supplement or visit with the stethescope, more than another you need someone else who believes in you!
And now you’ve got one.
Actually, thousands if you just log into the Powder Room and start making friends. There are other women just like you all around the world and they need you as much as you need them. If you are on the Full Support Version of this 90-Day Detox, you have access to the special section set aside just for this program!
I’ve seen people overcome all kinds of difficult situations. I know that solutions exist and that there is a way out of the hole you’re in, no matter how deep it feels. But read this and remember it:
THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH!
You have to START. You have to pick yourself up where you are RIGHT NOW. It doesn’t matter if it’s day 13 or day 49. It’s TODAY! Start! Make this happen. Make it your day.
I had a lousy morning, ate too early, ate too much… but blah blah blah… I decided to get my @$*( together and grabbed a tall glass of H2O at noon.
Here’s are my best suggestions for how to get out of a Funk once you’re in it.
5 Simple Steps For Coming Out of the Cooked Food Closet
1. Start Your Day With Water
No matter how poorly you ate the day before, tomorrow is a new day. Make it the day to start fresh. Start your day with a tall glass of water and DO NOT EAT ANYTHING until you are TRULY HUNGRY! The sad thing is that most people do not know how to identify real hunger.
2. Learn How To Identify Real Hunger and Eat When Really Hungry
One of the things I think people misunderstand the most is the most basic concept of all:
Hunger.
They mistake all manner of grumbling stomachs and general irritation for the real thing.
Hunger pulls.
Hunger persists.
Hunger salivates.
Hunger isn’t fussy or choosy.
If you think that something “doesn’t sound good” then consider the possibility that you’re not really hungry. You should care less how your food sounds and more that there’s food at all. These other things you’re feeling can be detox symptoms. Irritability
3. Find Yourself An Accountability Partner
Make a public statement on the blog, if you must. I offer you THIS SPACE to declare to the world your intention to make things go right. You can leave a comment, but you can also find a buddy on the Powder Room, too. What about a neighbor, a friend, a co-worker. It doesn’t matter WHO it matters THAT you find someone to support you and encourage you in your process.
4. Make Change on a Gradient
Depending on where you’re at and how you’re coping with things, you need to understand that TAKING THINGS ON A GRADIENT IS VERY IMPORTANT. If you keep setting yourself ultimatums and then crashing on them, something’s not working. If things feel out of control, find some part of your situation that you can control and control it.
Maybe you’ll just eat ONE piece of pizza instead of THREE.
Maybe you’ll stop eating after 9:00pm instead of midnight.
Find the gradient, whatever it is, and START THERE! Start somewhere, but START for Heaven’s sake, because as I said it before, THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH!
5. Persist and Thrive In Spite of All The Obstacles Against You
You can do this, but persist. Get your boots back on, Babe, and DECIDE that you really want this. The barriers you perceive are only there because you CHOOSE for them to be barriers. Get over it! Get up! We need you on the team. Have you noticed how many sick, struggling people there are out there that haven’t even figured out yet that there IS a relationship between their food and their health.
WE NEED YOU!
Listen, I don’t like being a loud-mouthed “coach” but when your kid is running in front of a truck, you don’t whisper to them to come back to the side walk. Sometimes love does need a hard hard. A wake-up call. If you are engaging in self-destructive behavior then THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL!
Get on board. Read the blog posts until today and get started.
It’s not just what you think, it’s also what you DO! Stand up, Woman, and get your life back!
Don’t worry, Chica! Even when I am a bit harsh, I still loooove you like glue, my little Sparkle Puff!!
Tera
Posted in Uncategorized | 19 Comments »
By Veronica B on Feb 28, 2009
M/G – {{{{{ hugs }}}}} I’ve been where you are, and know how discouraging it can feel. Sit down, decide which gradient you are tackling first, and go from there. We are all only human, and do backslide now and then. You’re a Diva, and you can do it!
Hugs & blessings,
Gypsy Queen
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By Kari on Mar 1, 2009
This post must be my favorite yet! M/G’s honesty resonated with me (I’ve been where you are, amiga!), and, Tera, your take-the-bull-by-the-horns response stirred me.
Especially loved this:
“THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH!
You have to START.”
Think I’ll paste it over my computer for whenever I feel I can’t do something, whether that “something” be about raw food or anything else in my life.
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By Tera on Mar 1, 2009
Thanks, Ladies.
Really appreciate your feedback. We’re getting a bit skimpy on the comments these days, but I totally appreciate it when you all pitch in and help make this community HOP!
I love the idea of pasting it over your computer! Good thinking!
Mmmmmuah!
Loooove and hugs,
Tera
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By Lau-raw on Mar 1, 2009
M/G,
When I read your comment, I just felt like if I was the one that wrote it. I guess we are the “all or nothing” type of persons and that doesn’t help us much when we struggle with something. You can do it!! Remember, just one step at a time!!! Don’t be so hard with you and honour that you have the intention to make a change in your diet but more than that, in your life style.
I love this site, because Tera just make it so warm that all of us feel confident to share not just our success stories but also our complicated issues trough all of this journey.
You can do it!!. and we are here to support each other!!
Big and low carb hugs for you!!
Lau-raw
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By Nicole Lafleche on Mar 1, 2009
Hey M/G,
The way I see it you’ve already started. You’re drinking a few smoothies a week, you have the knowledge and you are making plans. If you can dive in, then by all means do. If you need time to psyche yourself up to get started, then do that. Do whatever You need to do to get it going! You don’t have to throw all your foods out and convert your whole kitchen to raw. Get what healthy foods you can…the more simple you keep it, the cheaper it is. If you haven’t visited the powder room yet, I strongly encourage you to do it. We’re not all 100% raw, in fact, I think most of us aren’t, but I do think that we have or are learning to take things on a gradient which makes such a HUGE difference. Doing it on a gradient prevents me from beating myself up if I eat something that I deem unhealthy. So rather than abuse myself with the food (if I make the food ‘bad’ in my head, then it’s going to be ‘bad’ in my body) and with the mental beating, I just acknowledge and accept that I am in transition and allow the change to occur naturally. It’s so much easier this way and before you know it, change has occured without struggle and it just becomes part of my lifestyle.
You’re here because you have the courage to be here and you will do it, you have come to the right place. You have a big group of Divas on your side and cheering you on all the way!
Sending much love, light, and peace your way.
Nicole
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By DeAngelia on Mar 1, 2009
Wow! Once again Tera your candor and honestly, snuggled with love, is right on target. All of us have such high goals for ourselves and it’s easy to forget to love yourself and not beat yourself up. And the message that you are constantly sending of making this journey your own, finding your own gradient and finding successes in our own space and time is starting to ring in my ears with each food choice I make. Thank you again for all you do.
As for you M/G I’m sending you all my love and hope. One of my favorite quotes paraphrased “when knowledge is sweet to your very soul then your thinking abilities and discernment will safeguard”. Make your knowledge your truth. This takes time, I know for me it does, so along the way be kind to yourself. I’ll be rooting for you.
On your side,
de
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By Stacey on Mar 1, 2009
I have to agree with Kari that this is one of my favourite posts yet! I don’t know what it was about February, but I have to admit I’m glad to see the end of it. I feel like I’ve been in a boxing ring with myself this last month and all my bruises have bruises on them! Tera just keeps sending me the love though, and I haven’t given up. I accept that it may take me longer to get where I want to go. AND, and this is the big one, I have to love myself more than I love being perfect.
I think that’s where it starts. Yes, I’m here to learn about raw food and healthy living. But I’m also here to learn about acceptance, love, inspiration, and the recognition that I am part of a greater whole that includes countless amazing individuals. Thanks to Tera, I have opportunities, whenever I’m ready for them, to lean on others and also extend my shoulder.
I know how you feel M/G. And you and I will feel better… when we’re ready. Just stay with us all and keep reading. That was all I managed to cling to for February. But I’m still here! And I do believe I will continue to improve. It’s just never as fast or as perfectly as I’d like it to be.
Hold on!!
Best wishes,
Stacey
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By Doll on Mar 1, 2009
February is definitely difficult and most definitely OVER! Tera, thanks for shaking us up with a bit of reality!!!
Ok…I am woman, and can pick myself up by the bootstraps! Moving forward from yesterday and through today.
Such great words of wisdom. AND sometimes I need a coach like you to push me out of the hole I’ve dug for myself!
Big, warm hugs
Doll
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By Mara on Mar 2, 2009
THANK YOU all so much for the inspiring words. I am the person that wrote the email to Tera that she posted for today. I am so glad I did. I can’t tell you how accepted and loved I feel from everyone. Weird, considering I haven’t met any of you in person. Everyone’s words have really encouraged me to dive in and “just get started”. I have went onto the boards and started reading, reading, reading; and I have started reading lots of good stuff from Tera’s blogs. I am on day 2 of preparation for the 7 day detox. I am so scared to do it because I’m afraid I will fail, but with the support from all of you ladies and all the information that is provided, I really think I can do it. I will keep you posted on my progress. Tera, blessings to you and much gratefulness for your creativity, courage and abilities to do what you are doing. You truly are helping many women to get on the path of health and wholeness.
P.S. My username on the boards is mamagrigsby
Mara
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By Rachel on Mar 5, 2009
M/G–reading your email was like reading my thoughts! I am RIGHT where you are. I did raw food all through the summer and had amazing effects, but since coming back to school everything has plummeted. My eating is terrible, I’m not exercising, and the result is that I feel terrible physically and emotionally. Thanks for sending that message, it’s so great to know that there are other people who are going through the same trials, and Tera thanks for the advice! I’m inspired!
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By Connie on Mar 8, 2009
M/G, love and blessings to you, sweetheart! Ya know, we as women are so good at loving others, inspiring others and making others feel better, but somehow it’s lost on ourselves. We somehow have to get over feeling guilty or selfish when we make a commitment to love and honor and take care of ourselves! The only way we are going to have enough left over for everyone else is to take care of ourselves first, yes? When we fill ourselves up first (with good food, exercise, gratitude and forgiveness) it just naturally flows out to the world and then everything else seems easier. Tera, thanks so much for being you and doing this for everyone, you’re awesome!
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By Pamela on Mar 8, 2009
M/G – I have been exactly where you are and I feel your pain. Last year I did SOOOOO well on my diet – lost weight, felt great, but then came the holidays. I, much like you, know enough about raw I could easily be a coach or chef! However, I ate my way thru the holidays, thru January, and thru most of February. I seriously could have written your letter! Reaching out is the BEST thing you can do. Personally, I came clean to my husband (who is incredibly supportive) and told him how much I was struggling and that I needed some help. I was embarassed and felt vulnerable reaching out for help, but frankly, just saying it made me feel better. I hope writing your letter made you feel better too. Please know there are many of us out here like you, on a journey. I am back on track now, but I still have to wake up everyday and say “I do.” Be gentle with yourself – remember its not about the goal, but all about the journey. Much love and peace to you.
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By Carolyn Trammell on Mar 9, 2009
My name is Carolyn and I am a dietaholic.
I was thinking about doing the detox, in fact, I signed up, but I can’t seem to let go of my caffeine habit. That is just one of my excuses.
I let go of gluten over a year ago and got rid of a lifelong problem with depression and anxiety and general moodiness. It did take awhile to get it out of my system. Now I crave dairy like never before, but am trying to abstain.
Reading everything about health and diet is probably not a good thing since there is conflicting information. If I could just get it out of my mind I would be happier, but everytime I eat something I recall something I read about it, so I am trying to listen to my body and feel true hunger.
Drinking water and maybe a daylong fast might help. I just read an article about a man who takes one day each week to fast, 36 hours, and he said it really sharpens his taste buds and he enjoys food much better. I guess we dull our senses and no longer really taste.
My goal now is no flour, no sugar and that is going fairly well. Even that will not cure a lifetime of overeating, but one step at a time and keeping it simple might.
Regardless of what we eat, what we do or don’t do, I don’t think the problem is our weight or even the food. I think the problem is how we take care of ourselves. I think we are craving love and affection and we seek it through a convenient way. In our culture for most of us, food is all around. There is no wonder we overindulge or eat inappropriately since we can.
Asking your body to exercise and then not feed it what it really needs will probably result in eating sugar like M&Ms. Plus that is a real comfort food for most people. It provides a nice crunch and the chocolate and it is a nice size. Did you hear about the little girl who begged for M&Ms and her mother insisted she not eat them and someone recommended she give the little girl a pillowcase full of M&Ms with no restrictions? In fact, the mother was supposed to refill the pillowcase when it got low. I think it was a couple of weeks of eating the candy when the little girl decided she had enough. She didn’t need anymore M&Ms.
I don’t know if the raw food lifestyle is in my future, but as my yoga teacher always says, we can move toward it. Some of us have a tendency to be highly critical of ourselves and can usually never win, so I have to tell myself whatever I choose to eat will be okay, then in an accepting and forgiving environment I build around me I can choose the healthier way.
Thank you for letting us share our thoughts and feelings.
Good luck but mostly peace to all.
Carolyn
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By Christine on Mar 10, 2009
I can relate with your challenge. I too wanted to make the shift into eating all raw foods, and after 17 years as a non-meat eating ‘health food’ person, I have read so much but needed the ‘key’ to transition successfully.
The KEY to my success….
I prayed to God to show me the way and make it clear.
Then a friend told me about her commitment to therawdiva 7 day detox. I had just failed and attempt to fast earlier that week, and realize that was my preparation.
She described it soooo simply that I knew to join her.
I committed to 7 Days.
7 Days of eating only fruit and veggies and drinking water. I actually ate any vegetable and fruit that I wanted (except avocados). I even ate raw kale daily and drank 2 green drinks per day and LOTS of water. I didn’t get crazy with details, just honored my committment to 7 Days.
By day 3 I was set free from allergic reactions that felt like bricks lifted off my shoulders. This was the turning point for me. I felt sooo much better that I then committed to 90 days(even though others had already started!).
Note: I was not exercising beyond stretching and brisk walks that week. I allowed my body to make the adjustment.
Bonus! By day 7 I lost 16 lbs. WOW!
I pray that somewhere in my testimony are words that encourage you, and that the missing piece of the puzzle is found in simply BEING!
Be..Do…Have…
Be Healthy, Do Healthy, Have Healthy!
If I can do it, you can too. I have a lot more weight to lose, the total can be overwhelming……So, I choose to focus on what I can do today!
Start with a prayer and enjoy the green. May this be your Turning Point, and the beginning of your testimony to encourage others!
I love you! You are not in this alone:)
Christine
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By Christine on Mar 10, 2009
Correction I lost 12 lbs on my first, week 16lbs total by my second week.I am on week three (and now feel the need to increase exercise). Hey, we are all works in progress!
Love,
Christine
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By Charlotte on Jun 7, 2009
I broke down before the week was up and had cooked food, but have done it mostly on raw smoothies – mostly but not all. I failed too – not even a week, but learned I can do it on MOSTLY raw and that is where I am right now. I will continue doing the best I can and believe each day will get better.
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By Margaret on Jul 30, 2009
I must say this is all very encouraging. I will definitely make a plan to read the blog every day just to get the much needed boost.
It`s a funny thing. I`m probably more tired but in another way I`m much more energetic and yes also need to increase my exercise. Only doing Tai Chi at the moment but am doing a good work-out for about 30 mins every day just practising the forms up to where I know them. Exhausts me but I`m doing exercise that I love. Not into all the gymning and running etc. BUT at least I`m doing something whereas I wasn`t before! ALSO I was battling with trying to remember the forms and now because I`m more clear-headed get them far quicker. PLUS I`m feeling like doing other things which I was feeling too unmotivated to do. I`m so busy reading everything I can on Raw and sometimes a bit of cooked veggie(?) thatI don`t have time to watch TV anymore cause this is far more interesting. I am loving eating this way even though when I cook my husband a nice juicy bit of steak the smell gets to me and I`m cooking chicken for him tonight and I`m not sure how I`ll react to that. Found I had to try and not breathe through my nose when I was cooking food for him as it made me want what I know is not good for me!! And I REALLY do know it is not good for me. BTW my heart -beat was at 92 and now it is 76!! I always used to feel so sorry for my heart having to work so hard. MY BP is up slightly which is good cause there were times it was 99 over 69 or whatever. Now it is between 110 and 118 over 75 or something. So if there is anyone on the 90 Day Detox NOW 30th July and you are battling hang in there. WE KNOW IT IS GOOD for us.
Just one very personal question here? When one goes to the loo for more solid business is it sposed to be greenish. I have been having some very green smoothies every day? Just wondering??
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By Margaret on Jul 30, 2009
Oh yes forgot to say…if you are battling with wanting something bad that`s sweet I find that I actually prefer fruit like Strawberries, Kiwi and if you slice them and make some Macadamia Nut cream it really mkaes you feel like you are indulging. Well actually you are BUT if it stops the sugar craving I say it`s a good thing. Obviously eating too many nuts might not be the best thing but hey to indulge in the nut cream occasionally is okay I THINK! IS IT? Just choose your very favourite fruit to eat like this. Mine is definitely Strawbs. and Kiwis. No Mangoes at the moment until summer. Then them and litchees are the best. Just makes my mouth water thinking about them! Roll on Summer!!Got my grandkids and daughter coming from Oz to South Africa for 5 WEEKS. Can`t wait to start them on lettuce wraps. My daughter is pregnant so I won`t be able to offer to put her on a Detox BUT I can get her to eat SOME raw.
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By ILiana on Aug 3, 2009
Yep, this time it is much harder.I couldn’t pass the first day without not eating.
I still eat mostly raw food but chocolate is also on my diet and nuts, lots of nuts.
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