Creating Foundations of Joy

There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way. WAYNE DWYER

I don’t know you personally, but if you are anything like me, you may not have had an ‘ideal’ childhood. Raised under the poverty-line by a single mom, overwhelmed with no support, who became an alcoholic, and then died suddenly leaving me orphaned and homeless as a teenager, I was rather joyless. However, I chose to turn lemons into lemonade. I have a saying that I came up with when I realised I could ‘change the past’ by RE-PARENTING myself. Having children makes it very clear that there are a million opportunities in a single day to give to ourselves what we may not have received in our formative years. And this is such good news, because not only can we now get those needs met retro-actively, we can also be better equipped to meet the needs of our children. I believe a deep need of all children, young and ‘golden’ (not OLD! Lol) is to know, have, and be able to express, JOY. Joy is no superficial or trivial trait. It is actually a pillar for self-esteem, resourcefulness, healing and wholeness.

Joy was not a concept I grew up with. I have since learned to ‘practice’ it though. It is a choice. One of the ways I noticed I could create and experience joy was just by eliminating STRESS! Nothing kills our sense of the ‘blisstastic’ then just feeling stressed out. When I lived in Hong Kong teaching English as a Second Language, I couldn’t believe the onslaught of noise and visual stimulation and time pressures that assaulted my senses on a daily basis. I sought out a meditation teacher.

I was amazed at the difference regular meditation made in how I was able to better cope with all sensory overload. It is as simple as sitting upright, closing your eyes, and repeating a calming word like ‘love’ or ‘Om’, and just being with your breathing for 10-20 minutes. It is a little rest-period that can help you to ‘check-in with yourself’ and even‘re-charge your batteries’. With little ones, just doing your meditation will encourage them to try it because they love to imitate us. Even one minute on a regular basis will provide them with a tool they can use later in life to withstand pressures that oppose inner peace.

For me to really feel, and therefore model happiness for my family, I need to follow my spirit. I have a list of things that are my ‘non-negotiables’ which help me to ‘keep my WELL filled-up’ so that I do not let resentment and bitterness poison the sacred home atmosphere. I take responsibility for meeting my needs. I am extremely engaged in household responsibilities, make all the food from scratch, and work to supplement the household income, so I know how hard it is as a busy mom- but I do make myself a priority, and compromise- I may not be able to do EVERYTHING I WANT, but I can do do ANYTHING I want, as long as I commit to it. If I would love to be given flowers, but hubs has not thought of it lately, I buy my own bouquet. If I cannot afford flowers, I gather wild ones, or paint pictures of them! Here are a few things on my list of things I do to keep me going:
Painting, reading, dancing, hiking, martial arts, meditating. I also love to do really SILLY things! As a child I was rather serious, in ‘survival mode’ and had to grow up so fast. Now that I have created stability and security which I really needed, now I am giving myself sensations, laughter, moments, experiences, memories of pure FUN. I seem to enjoy now that I am RAW and feeling healthier than ever, to push my limits. The past 3 winters, I have been increasing my resistance to the extreme temperatures with POLAR BEAR DIPS, BAREFOOT SNOW WALKS, and lots of HIKING. These activities may not turn you on, and that is great- so just let them serve as silly and fun examples to inspire you to do what YOU love to do that brings YOU joy! If parents are doing what makes them happy and fulfilled in their life, than the child will receive the right energy from them and be uplifted also. Teach Joy by BEING JOY. Or better still, LEARN JOY FROM YOUR SILLY LITTLE ONES! Having children means we get to experience a second childhood. That is how we can change the past, re-parent ourselves, and really IN-JOY this beautiful LIFE!

Blissings, Shannon