The day BEFORE Election Day by Meredith Stoddard

For better or worse, I am really into politics. Maybe it was growing up in the suburbs of Washington DC, or being raised in a politically active and diverse family. Whatever the cause, politics is a bit of an addiction for me, sometimes an unhealthy one. Worrying about everything that goes on in our country and the world as much as I do can sometimes drive me pretty far down in the dumps. Naturally, this week has been a real roller coaster, and Monday was that long slow climb up to the top of the first big hill that sets up the momentum that takes you through the rest of the ride. As if the political situation wasn’t enough, life added a few more curves to that ride this week.

Like most days for a working commuting Mom of two wee beasts under 5, my Monday started out with the typical chaos of getting everyone dressed and out the door. Trying to find tiny socks for two matching socks for two little ones who don’t like to wear them is always a challenge. Making the daily green juice that my son (4) refuses to drink and trying to get him to eat the raw pop tarts or raw granola that I worked so hard the day before to make usually results in a argument that sounds like, “Why can’t I have real pop tarts like we used to.”, which of course results in a long discussion about the dangers of preservatives and gluten that causes his little 4 year old eyes to glaze over and results in his eventual agreement to eat a banana and half a plum.

Next commuting 30 minutes to drop him off at school (yes his school is worth the drive) and schedule a “behavior intervention” for that afternoon. I should say that my son is gifted in that he’s super intelligent, but he still deals with things like a 4 year old and is surrounded by other kids who don’t quite get what he’s saying half the time. This results in more than occasional frustration that at 4 he’s not well equipped to deal with. Add to that some sensory issues around hearing and touch that we’re still working to diagnose and you have a challenging situation. It was hard to sit in a room with 5 adults and talk to him about the difficulties that his behavior is causing and explain to him how we’re going to deal with them. It was heart wrenching to watch him squirm in his preschool sized chair when we presented him with the list of expectations that he was to sign and adhere to. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I had to do it on a day that was already fraught with nervous tension.

Add to that the frustration of working at a corporate outpost where I spend hours waiting for information that I need to make a deadline, only to find out that the information was available 2 days ago, but they forgot to tell me, because I’m in VA and everyone else on the team is in CA and TX. Having to leave early for the parent teacher conference, means that I miss my deadline and will have to work in the morning on my day off to send out the communication about the new product before customers start calling about it. All of this makes me feel like I’m running a mile a minute.

When I got home and was frantically trying to get dinner to the table I noticed my phone beeping and picked it up to find that my boss has called me twice. The voice mail he left me asking me to call him that it was important left me with a feeling of dread. This feeling was only amplified when I talked to him to find that he was in VA and not TX (his usual location) and he asked me to come in on my day off to talk about some “organizational changes”. As soon as he said those words the whole mile a minute day just ground to a halt. Anyone who has ever working in the corporate world knows that “organizational changes” means that someone is leaving, occasionally voluntarily, but more often not. Knowing that I work in an outpost away from the rest of my team, and I’ve been in my position long enough to have maxed out the salary range for trainers, I’m pretty sure the person leaving is me.

You might think this is the top of that first hill on the roller coaster, but we’re not quite there yet. This is the point where you’re ready to start heading down. You’ve been climbing for a while and you still can’t quite see the top. The rest of the climb is when the real anticipation starts to build. For me this was the part when my husband and I sat down and looked at the budget and began to feel better and better about giving up my salary. We realized that he makes enough for me to stay at home, which he kind of knew before, but it takes a lot of faith and courage to give up a salary like mine especially in this economy. Our talk gave me courage to face getting laid off. Now I could at least stop fretting about that and start getting ready for election day. I put the campaign t-shirts in the washing machine so they would be dry the next day and sat down to watch my favorite new/analysis show to check on the latest poll numbers.

I was so loaded with nervous energy that I didn’t go to bed until after 12 and didn’t fall asleep until after 2. Around 1:30 I went to the dryer to check on the t-shirts, and that’s when I hit the top of that hill on the roller coaster. My laundry room is in the hall way upstairs just outside my little man’s bedroom door, and I heard it. It’s one of the things that my son does that touches me the most. He laughs in his sleep. He’s done it since he was a baby, and it stops me in my tracks and makes me tear up every time I hear it, despite the trying day that he had and the challenges that he faces every day. He still laughs in his sleep, and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can. This was it, the top of the hill that moment when the car stops and hangs there at the top and you have the best view in the amusement park. It’s the last breath before the ride you’ve been waiting for. No more time for uncertainty, no more chance to second guess yourself, no getting off now, just enjoy the ride.

Meredith Stoddard

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