Wow, I can’t believe it’s been a month since I posted. I am truly sorry for that. I apologize to myself as well as to you, dear readers, since writing for this blog is one of the few things I do just for myself, that gives me a sense of identity, and a lot of personal satisfaction. I’ve tried to keep my weekly postings a top priority as, for the reasons just stated, they really help to keep me grounded and happy. All I can say is, for the last month, I’ve been a bit distracted.
In my last post, I officially declared I was in nesting mode. I used the phrase in the sense that I planned to hole up in my “nest”, kick my feet up, relax, and ease into the final stretch before labor. Well, since then, in addition to my usual routine, I have managed to organize/host 4 parties, attend various meetings, have the kitchen and laundry room painted, and deal with one really scary emergency room trip with my son. Not to mention being completely consumed with all things Election…so much for relaxing!
There is another use of the phrase “nesting mode”, however, that refers to a sort of manic state some expecting women get into, to prepare the “nest” so to speak, for the new arrival. You know, where the mom-to-be gets on her hands and knees to scrub every inch of the floor with a toothbrush, or decides at 2AM she must defrost the freezer or organize all the baby clothes by color, or some such other obsessive-compulsive task.
Well, this didn’t happen at all for me with my first pregnancy (beyond just covering the basics), but this time, I am that crazy woman. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and organizing kitchen drawers, preparing meals for my son for two days out with explicit instructions, obsessively keeping on top of laundry, and reading and re-reading all the signs of labor to look for. Oh, and yes, folding and refolding all the baby clothes….My “to-do” list has always been a mile long, but suddenly, frantically, I feel panicked that I won’t get through it all before the baby comes. It’s really quite ridiculous! And all this has made it a wee bit difficult for me to prioritize.
On the flip-side, I feel great, people say I look great and can’t believe I’m “due” in a matter of days. If it weren’t for all the contractions (been having them for weeks now), I’d totally forget I was pregnant, and sometimes do anyway. I am trying to keep my mind off of it too, since my first baby was 12 days late, so I’m not holding my breath that this one will come on time. In fact, I am cherishing every moment I have with my son (and would actually welcome some extra time), as I know we will never have the same relationship again, where it’s just the two of us most of the time. I look forward, and with eager anticipation, to meeting the new baby and expanding our happy little family, but at the same time, a piece of me mourns the loss of the very special dynamic we have right now.
Now that the election is over, my bags are packed for the birthing center, thank you notes are written, the sky is not falling, and I don’t have too much left on my roster, I’m hoping I can finally kick back a bit…but then again, you never know ?.