Back in Montreal: The Soap Opera Continues…

I had so many emails from people saying how much they appreciated hearing about my New York adventures, and experiences with the Food Network, that I see no reason to stop the soap opera now that I’m back in Montreal.

Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days I’ve had in a long time. It’s funny because I’d actually written a rather moving, melancholy blog post to start the day, but it was gobbled up by the e-critters that roam the web. (They catch the tears that are better spilled in a tissue than online.)

One takes a certain risk putting her heart out on a sleeve in front of thousands of people. Silly girl, you’d think I’d learn to taper my firey self, hold back a bit and keep some mystery, but I’ve just never been good at that. I willingly accept the consequences of living fully. The tears, the pain, the prickly adventures of rumbling through raspberry bushes in a skirt.
*sigh*

When I step back a few feet from my head I see the laundry, the floors, the dusting, the dishes, the unpaid bills, dirty socks, unread books, unfinished projects and infinite possibilities–a constellation of things to do and I wonder some days, “Will ‘balance’ continue to evade me?”

When we look at stars, we’re not trying to identify all of them at the same time. We just sit back and look at the vastness of it all, the complete randomity and chaotic curiosity of it all and we are amazed, impressed, and awed.

“That which is not admired, persists.”

I’ve heard it said differently in the past. That which we resist, persists. But I came across this version recently using the word “admired” and somehow heard it differently–thinking of my laundry, my ex-husband and my stack of unpaid bills.

People have different ways of handling things when the going gets tough. The ones who’ve earned my great respect have always sought to find their personal responsibility in any given situation long before they pointed a finger at someone else to find fault.

Life threw me a few curve balls again recently and I wasn’t wearing my catcher’s mitt.

But yesterday, sporting a bikini, I spent the day admiring a lot of things. I just sat back in the sun to observe the constellation of my life and it WAS beautiful. A few moments of me were all I needed and things just started to slip back into place–the sweet sort of serendipity that makes you feel you’re holding the paintbrush to your own life, again.

After the pool, I slipped  my aqua blue lululemon top  over my bikini, threw a sarong around my waist and made my way to “C’est la Vie” (the healthfood store where I’ll be teaching community classes). How appropriately named, this store was… you ever find that? The little details and words across the page sometimes just feel like important pieces to the puzzle…

Well, I love the owners of this store and so I just walked in and right away was bathed in love and the giggles started to rumble from within and spill all over the place. I just felt “home” again, inside myself–sparkly and bright.

The owner treated me to dinner and Kombucha and got me excited about the projects we’ll be doing there. I’m grinning from ear to ear just thinking about it. I bought three heads of organic lettuce and sauntered home.

As I walked through the park, I just felt “me” again, and suddenly the colors around me were brighter than they had been all week.

As I strolled I nibbled on my lettuce, smiling from ear to ear, and cars would slow down just to look at me. The strangeness of it all, I suppose–a smiling, upright orangutan in a skirt, chewing on lettuce like most chew on a Snickers bar.

I’ve never had so many cute boys turn their heads and it would just make me smile more!

As I looked up the clouds were spectacular and it was a picture perfect image of light streaming up through the clouds–something out of a cheesy angel postcard, but real. I believe life really is what you make it and there are solutions to handle pain, confusion and overwhelm. There’s nothing like a change in perspective, good, honest friends and a head of Romaine lettuce to turn your week around.

I love you, Sunshine, and I’m so glad you stopped by. If you were closer, I’d link arms with you, drag you to the pool and take you out for dilly sushi and lettuce giggles. But since there are so many miles between us, I’ll just send all my sweet smiles and sparkly diva love up to where the sun shines and hope it makes its way to you safely.

Mmmuah! You deserve the very best, you know. You always have.