My Mom, the Superhero

I really enjoyed Joanne’s and Shannon’s posts earlier this week; for that and in light of Mother’s Day this Sunday, and because this site is about and for Moms, I thought I would follow suit and pay tribute to my own Mom.

This will be my second Mother’s Day (3rd if you count when I was pregnant). While it certainly is nice to be honored, I mostly just feel honored to be a mom! However, Mother’s Day has much more significance for me in terms of my own mother now; becoming a mother has made me so much closer to her in so many ways.

Growing up, I held my mom to some ridiculously high standards: I expected her to always have the answers, to always know what I needed, to always be there for me, and to, after a long hard day’s work, have unrelenting energy for me; that she could bury her head in a book and, despite my raucous and persistent attempts to garner her attention, still tune me out completely was not only unfathomable but totally unacceptable!

When my mother let me down, it was absolutely crushing; it was as if the whole world as I knew it or as it ought to be came crashing down – it is a cruel lesson learning your mother is fallible.

And my mother didn’t have it nearly as easy as I do. First, she started off a decade before I did. She then mostly raised my sister and me as a single mother. And my mom struggled for financial security: she worked hard and long to ensure that we were provided for and that we never went wanting; we always had a beautiful home, delicious homemade food on the table, clothing and lots and lots of love.

I, on the other hand, as an older mom, have much more emotional maturity and strength of character than I did 10 years ago; I can only imagine how much more challenging it would have been had I started a family then. I have a very stable and supportive partner and we are in a much more secure financial position. And yet, despite my greatest efforts, I still don’t have all the answers, I still don’t always know what my son needs (and it breaks my heart to not always be able to “make it better”), and there are definitely days when sheer exhaustion necessitates that I just tune out for a while….

This first-hand knowledge and the first-hand experience of the depth and tenacity of love that only a mother can feel for her child (and to know that this must be the sort of love my mother has for me) has completely humbled me and allowed me to forgive her “shortcomings”. This has also allowed me to forgive my own shortcomings as a mother since I have, at the same time, realized that my mother actually did live up to all my standards: she did have the answers (she did the absolute best she could given her situation and came up with real solutions), I did get what I needed, and in the long-run, she, more than anyone else I have ever known, has always been there for me. My mom truly is a superhero and I love her dearly.

I can only hope my own kids will go a little easier on me!