Still Finding Balance

So, last week I pulled myself together and instead of wallowing in self-pity about an overwhelming amount of things I need to be doing, I planned it all out and organized my ‘To-Do’ list. This week, an evaluation is in order.

Did I get everything done on my list? Of course not! (Are you crazy? I know I was for thinking I could!) After prioritizing, did I get what was most important done? Almost. Do I feel good about it all? You bet!

After actually keeping up with my task list, I realized it wasn’t a bad thing to keep around, and I learned a little more about myself in the process. (Or should I say accepted something about myself that I already knew and didn’t want to admit?) A To-Do list has been more of an enemy to me in the past. Why? It is the perfectionist in me (so I admitted it!). I usually plan on doing more than I can actually get done because I spend too much time getting it done! When I start a job, I have to finish it and it has to be done right!

You might already see the connection to the problem. I have a hard time stopping something I am in the middle of. Instead of breaking it up into small portions (like I should), I try to take on the whole load ‘when I have the time.’ If I do everything with that thought in mind, nothing gets done! As a busy mom, I always have to juggle the daily routine with projects and making the most of spending quality time with my little ones.

Accepting me the way I am and working with it, I have a task list that now works for me. I have an ongoing list that encompasses all the major projects and jobs that need to get done and a daily list of what has to get done (hopefully it is a short one!) and what would be nice to get done (must-do’s vs. can-do’s). Parts of the ongoing list are scheduled into my daily list where it fits.

The key for me is, the ongoing project list is subdivided! I have it broken down into manageable steps that are doable on a busy mom scale. For example, one of my projects that I have procrastinated way too long about is to finish making the curtains in the kids’ bedroom. Last summer, (dare I admit it was that long ago??) we painted and redecorated the kids’ room. I got half the curtains sewn before I was too big at the end of my pregnancy to get on the floor and measure, cut, and pin together the long pieces of fabric. There are 2 curtains hanging on the far outside edges of the windows that are side by side. I need to make the 2 curtains that go on the inside edges for the final product. Since these are decorative and not functional, it just hasn’t been on my priority list with a newborn baby and 3 other kids.

Well, my newborn baby is not-so-newborn anymore and it has been 8 months since I put the material away for the ‘right time!’ I have, until now, put off finishing the job because I haven’t thought I had enough time to get it done. Based on my new plan, I am not thinking of it as the whole job. First, I measured and cut the material needed. I put it away and the next step was to pin it together. That is where I am now. That job is done, and it is put away again. When I am ready for the curtains to be on the day’s to-do list, I will start sewing it. I will get as many edges done on it as I can in that time, and if I don’t finish it, I will put it away until the next day.

In the end, it will take a little more time after I have gotten the project out and put away several times (In our small home, the only place I have to sew is at my kitchen table, so there is no option to just leave it be), but in the end, I will have a finished curtain in much less time than it took me to put of doing it until the time is right!

The same goes for the smaller scale projects and things on my list. I have taught myself to divide the tasks into smaller pieces and to think of each one in terms of its subtask so that I still feel like I am accomplishing something while I am technically stopping in the middle. It is all just in the wording I know, but it sure helps the perfectionist in me be much happier! It also helps to view my To-Do list as a flexible guide instead of a controlling prison guard. This makes it my friend and not my enemy.

Ok, I am done going on and on about my new task planning wonders. I had no intention of this going into a second week on the topic, but here it is. These things I have ‘discovered’ about myself and how to make task planning work for me may be obvious and trivial for some of you. What matters most, whether you are the kind of person like me, who like things planned and organized, or someone who would rather wing it and not be bothered about a silly list, is that you are having fun doing what you have to do!

It puts a smile on my face to say that I did manage to accomplish something. Spending time with my kids is a great thing that I GET to do and when everything is all said and done, that is what really matters. If I am a happier person because I checked off 5 boxes on my list instead of just 2 simply from thinking about it differently, then the better for both me and my kiddos! That is just one less, “Mommy’s not done yet…” that they have to hear.