101 Reasons Women Punish Themselves And How To STOP IT!
Written by Tera on March 31, 2008 – -
I’ve been incredibly busy doing private consultations with the women who have come on board for our Body Enlightenment System. I love connecting one on one with participants of the program…hearing the stories, giggling and getting windows into where they’re at.
And yet, it’s incredible to see again and again that more than eating “bad” food, or not getting enough exercise, the one thing plaguing women around the globe more than anything else is a nasty virus of self-punishment, guilt and invalidation. (Now, if you can relate, please don’t start punishing yourself about the fact that you tend to punish yourself!)
Chances are pretty good that, though you may feel generally positive, productive and happy, you have moments where you can fall victim to beating yourself up for:
not eating the “right” foods
not eating the “best” foods
eating too much food
spending too much on food
not eating organic food
wanting to eat “bad” food
not exercising enough
weighing too much
having too much loose skin on your body
not having enough money
asking for help
feeling helpless
feeling out of control
not being fast enough
not being productive enough
not being considerate enough
not trying hard enough
not getting enough done
Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!! *PATOOOIE!!*
These are circuits of data and they do not belong to you. But, when you are tired, worn out, stressed, under pressure or just down, these circuits come and slap you around like a nasty old witch.
They’re old stuff. If your memories collected dust, these ones are way up high in dusty shoe boxes where you can’t even reach them any more. They’re older than you remember, because if you could remember them, they wouldn’t be there slapping you around.
You probably don’t have to work very hard to spot similar circuits that were played out by your mother, and her mother before her. No, they’re not passed on genetically. There’s more to it than that. I’m not going to get into a dissertation on how the mind works. You’ve got enough stuff on your desk to sift through, already, so I’m not going to give you any more “data” to pile on your little piles.
I will tell you this:
Self-invalidation may be calorie free, but it is not any healthier than a double fudge, NON vegan brownie or a greasy plate of French fries and gravy.
Before you obsess about that 10% cooked food you’re trying to eliminate from your diet, how ’bout you send guilt, self-punishment and invalidation for a flying leap from a tall, tall window.
You ARE beautiful.
You ARE a great woman with tremendous potential.
If you’re seeking perfection, you’re never going to find it. It’s not the attainment of goals that keeps us alive, it’s the thrill of the chase. Just create more important things to put your attention on than those last 10 pounds, and they’ll fall off automatically. Get busy living.
Celebrate how lucky you are to have fresh fruits and vegetables and a marvelous, healthy way to nourish your body, instead of punishing yourself for that cracker you ate.
Celebrate how great it is to be part of a community of women working to get closer and closer to their ideal of what vibrant living looks like.
And celebrate the fact that where you are, even if it challenges you, offers the potential for great learning and change. So just get busy living and loving and you’ll get to where you want to go.
For the time being, don’t accept these “circuits” as an inherent part of you. They are not.
Get out of your head, and get into life. Just live life joyfully and accept the learning along the way.
You CAN get to where you’re trying to go, but enjoy the journey of getting there and celebrate your success along the way.
There ARE solutions to the things that aren’t working for you right now.
Be patient trust the process, and remember, asking for help is a sign of intelligence. 
Tags: food obsessions, the raw divas, women's health
Posted in Raw Food Health, Success Stories | 11 Comments »
By Sonya on Apr 1, 2008
What a lovely blog post, Tera!
I love the way you said it: ‘just get busy living and loving and you’ll get to where you want to go’.
Very inspirational and exactly what I needed to hear right in this moment.
Thank you!
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By Sheila on Apr 1, 2008
Excellent–I needed to read that — I was weak at the knees around lunch time today on day #3 and I actually went down to the cafeteria and bought a cup of bean soup and two bananas. I ate the two bananas and not the soup!!!! A Big Thank You!
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By Mary Ellen Cota on Apr 1, 2008
I’ve never eaten 4 bananas at one sitting! I thought,”there is no way I can finish all this!” Surprise, surprise, I ate it all and it didn’t even feel heavy in my stomach! And there were also an apple and 3 celery stalks!I am finding my energy great, I am drinking my water quota, a very difficult thing for me to accomplish, I just simply forget to do it and there isn’t enough day left to cram it in. Yes, we can do this and when my body is satisfied with pure, raw food, I feel fabulous! I must not give in to cooked dead stuff! My body needs top fuel to get its functions done.Thanks so much for all you are doing.
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By Tera on Apr 1, 2008
Yes! Ladies, you’re all doing amazing. It’s wonderful to have your feedback here on the blog!
We all go through so many of the same things, it’s just a comfort to know we’re going through it together!
Chins up, shoulders back, tummies tucked and onward, onward through the fog of cravings to a new plateau, a better view and a whole lot of fun.
Mmmmuah!
Love and hugs,
Tera
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By SharonJean on Apr 1, 2008
Tera,
I love how vibrant and positive you are. Thank you for the way you encourage and empower.
And I LOVE the “blah, blah blah! Patooie! That’s PERFECT!
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By Mary Montanye on Apr 1, 2008
This came just exactly at the right time, Tera. I worked out with my trainer for an hour this afternoon and she was hesitantly telling me how upset she is with herself that she can’t lose that last ten pounds. Now this is a vegan woman (has done your 7 day and plans on the BES when she can) who is beautiful and gifted and strong and vibrant … and there she is, beating herself up for those ten pounds. I almost cried for her.
Thanks for you support. The 3rd day, so far, hasn’t been too bad.
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By Tera on Apr 2, 2008
Great to have these updates and hear how you’re all doing. You should have seen what I wrote before, Sharon Jean. I was trying to find ways to write the sound that comes out when you stick out your tongue and make “farting” noises!!
Anyway, “farting noises” got cut for “Patooie”!
I think I made the right choice.
Love and hugs and keep on keeping on, Loves!!!
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By Caroline on Apr 7, 2008
Lovely blog thanks tera … just what I needed to read after a bingeful/no-exercise weekend (and Monday!)
Keep up the great work
Cxx
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By Tera on Apr 7, 2008
Thanks for the kind words, Caroline. Great to have you here giving us your feedback.
xox
Tera
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By Allison on Apr 7, 2008
I am the QUEEN of self-punishment. I am never content with myself- I should be better, faster, steadier, thinner, more disciplined, etc. I keep trying to remember the Buddhist teachings about avoiding extremes and living in the present- but then I punish myself for forgetting those things. LOL! One day I’ll get together, but until then I will try to stop punishing myself so much.
-Allison
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By Lara on Mar 13, 2011
Tera, I love your letters to us! When I’m feeling down, I just read one of your letters, and I feel better. Thank you so much for caring about us enough to share your thoughts. I’m so glad I found the Raw Divas! One day I hope to be one!
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